EMMA WANJIKU

The Lie Of Polygamy



Posted: Sunday, March 07, 2010

by EMMA WANJIKU
EMMALIFETIPS.com

A while ago, South African businessman Milton Mbele majestically walked down the aisle with all four of his brides. In a joint wedding ceremony, the man entered into covenants with his four wives to love and to hold. This story raised eye-brows not just because of the joint ceremony but the unspoken scepticism of polygamy. It made me really wonder which woman really wants to share her man in the present day. Polygamy has been part and parcel of the African society for a long time but, as witnessed, it is no longer sustainable. There is great need to explore the issue of many wives and look at the real motives from all angles.

Personally, polygamy is just a fantasy invented by the male ego to dominate and subdue. I think the nonsense of polygamy should be called as it is. In their right senses, no woman will want to share their man and this is the bottom line. Having said this, let us therefore look at the reasons why women will enter and pretend to be happy and content in such marriages. One obvious reason is the boost in status. This might touch on acquiring wealth but is not limited to wealth alone. Many women will happily get married in a polygamous setting with a man who is dirt poor. In their view, their status gets a boost because they gain the title ‘married' which is apparently a big thing especially in traditional circles.

Modern women I believe enter into polygamy to cover their tracks. Some women have deep secrets and do not want to completely open up to a fully available partner. For this reason, they choose to associate with a man who is most of the time a sexual partner rather than a life partner. Another thing that leads women into this polygamy nonsense is fear and low self view. Some do not actually believe they can get single men to marry them and choose to settle for what they get.

Another reason why a woman might be attracted to such a man is the inability to let go. Now, I think many women can fall in love with a man and lack the resolve to let them go. However, many stay with the hope of one day driving away the other lady or ladies so that they can be left as the only ones. This is lack of courage to throw in the towel and accept that the man cannot be tamed. Therefore, they stay with limited happiness for years living a lie; without optimal marital satisfaction.

Another possible reason for women to enter into polygamous relationships is the fear of being alone. It takes a strong woman to stand the test of time and live purely single without man. When it comes to the men, they are the biggest winners. They get to conquer all they want and spread their genes far and wide. There is nothing that feeds the male ego more.

Many women will claim to live in peace and happiness with fellow wives but why is it that these days, wives want their own individual homes? (The South African brides of Milton Mbele all live in separate houses). This only proves that women are great actresses and when they want something they will get it. One thing still remains, no woman in their right mind will want to share their man.
Emma Wanjiku is a trained journalist who has been researching on many categories for her work. She has vast experience which she packages to give people essential tips on topics of life. For more see www.emmalifetips.com
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